Step by Step

I haven't written on here in awhile. Life had been crazy, however that really is no excuse. So, what has been going on in my life? Well the Lord has totally changed the direction I thought I was going. In the months since I have been home from Kenya I have stated that I was going to be attending a writing school, through YWAM in Texas. I never had peace about this, but it seemed like a logical next step, after doing the Onething internship which taught me about intimacy with the Lord and the importance of prayer, and going to school for my Associates, and then finally going to YWAM and realizing my heart burned for people. I figured, going to a school where I could work and still have Godly training would be the perfect next step.

I love loving people, but I have realized I have an issue with not being able to financially support myself. In short, even though I don't like putting it this way, I believe I can support myself better then the Lord can. This is the root of the rough few months I have had with the Lord.

After returning home from YWAM with a heart on fire and a new perspective I went back to work, despite the fact that the Lord had been pressing on my heart to join YWAM staff. I have described the last few months as my 'Jonah season' meaning, the Lord has been asking me to do something that terrifies me. He was asking me to say 'yes' to being a missionary, and 'yes' to having to depend on Him for my finances. I, with all of my logic ran in the opposite direction. I took on extra responsibilities at work, and pushed my School of Writing application through. I was spending little time with the Lord because, as we all know in His presence it is hard to run. I finally reached the place where I was exhausted, spiritually and physically, from running myself so thin. So, I finally decided it was time for a long talk with the Big Man. I just sat in His presence and said, "Lord, show me my passion. I feel like I have lost what you have called me to do and I don't know why." this is when He showed me even though He was continually putting up road blocks to Texas I would jump over them, dive under them, use a chain saw if necessary to cut it in half. Whatever I had to do to not face the fact that He was calling me to missions. It ended with me weeping and saying, "God whatever you call me to, whatever you ask of me. I just want to be passionate again." I got in my car the following day and this song was playing,

"I don’t want to ride on somebody else’s passion

I don’t want to find that I’m just dry bones

I want to burn with unquenchable fire

Deep down inside see it coming alive

Help me find my own flame

Help me find my own fire

I want the real thing

I want Your burning desire

Do what only You can do

In my heart tonight,

There’s no better time

There’s no better time

There’s no better time

There’s no better time"

Talk about the Lord saying, "you're on the right track!" The next week or so things like this kept happening. I would receive scriptures, things in books I was reading, the Lord speaking through others. I am confident that this is what the Lord is calling me to. I have a mixture of emotions, I am excited and nervous, because this is unfamiliar ground for me. I feel like I am acting like Rapunzel in Tangled.

Whenever I question the Lord though my mothers words pop into my head, "Hannah, you're acting like the children of Israel." So often we wonder how the children of Israel could question if the Lord was going to provide when He had proved His faithfulness repeatedly. However, I know many times in my life the Lord has provided, there has not been one time that I have not made it. "Seldom early, but never late." Of course in hindsight, seeing the whole story of the Israelites we can say they should have believed. There is no difference between them and me. We serve the same God and He is still faithful. 

Maasi

The last place I want to share with all of you about is Nyango. This was a small villiage in the middle of no where, where the Maasi people live. The Maasi are what you picture when you think Africa.

These are the people that we spent one week with. The week we spent with the Maasi was very special. The second night we were there around eleven o'clock our translator woke all of us up and said, "They are playing the drums for you." The Mama's were at the pastors house playing drums, calling us to come and give an evening devotion. So we all pulled our selves out of bed and started walking toward the sound of the drums. Nyango has no electricity, so it was just us, with the moon and stars. We arrived at the house and the women were singing in Swahili. I was still half asleep, as was the rest of the team. The Mama's were dancing and singing and wanted us to join in, at that moment I realized I could be upset that I had been pulled out of bed and that I had to get up early, or, I could enjoy this beautiful night, under the Milky Way Galaxy, dancing with these beautiful people and trying to sing songs in a language I didn't know. I obviously chose the second option. All of us started dancing and clapping and I realized not only had I put my shirt on inside out and backwards, but my pants were also inside out and backwards.

We spent most of our time in Nyango just with the people, developing relationships and loving them like Jesus would. We did a lot of school ministry and developed really good relationships with a lot of the children. On of the hardest things of out reach was leaving Nyango, seeing kids we had touched crying as we drove away. The Maasi are a people I will never forget. I fell in love with the Maasi. I honestly hope that one day I get to go back and spend more time with them, see the children that we were able to touch.

Kenya was a journey that changed my life. I wouldn't trade it for anything, even though it was the hardest thing I have ever done, it was more then worth it. And it wouldn't have been possible without all of you who supported me, gathered with me, prayed me into Kenya and helped with finances. I am so grateful to each and every one of you who kept me in your prayers, I know that through those prayers we won many spiritual and psychical battles, so thank you for your prayers. Also, to those of you who helped me financially, I can never express to you how thankful I am for your help in getting me to Kenya. Thank you all for your love and support.

And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” 2Cor 12.9

Kilifi was our second destination in Kenya. This is where we really started doing evangelism. The first day we arrived we stopped at the church we would be working with and everyone ran out to greet us. The name of the church was Oasis, it was the mother church and had two other congregations lead in different villages around the area. We learned we would be working with Oasis and one of the other churches. After quick introductions we then drove to the house we would be staying in. It was a house with two bedrooms and one bathroom. The six girls were divided into the bedrooms and the boys got the living room. The house was nice, though I realized that in Africa I prefer clay houses with cracks and lots of windows instead of well constructed western style houses, there wasn't nearly enough air flow. I had never sweat that much in my life! :) However, we were pumped up and ready to go, so once we got semi settled we walked back to the church to have dinner with Pastor Ongola. This is when he told us that our week was going to be spent going to the villages and evangelizing, as well as more school ministry. By this point I had come to love school ministry, but I was still nervous about evangelism. I had also learned though, this trip was not about me being comfortable, so I put on my big girl pants and made up right then I'd do whatever I had to.

The next morning we met at the church again and piled into a matatu. (A matatu is public transportation. It is a van, and each one has its own theme.) We arrived at a small church, in the middle of a village, Pastor

Philip and his wife came out to greet us. The pastors wife, Rosalee, was so sweet, but also a total fire ball. We divided up into groups with translators and set out to talk to people about Jesus. I was with one of the other students, Victoria, and Pastor Philip was our translator. We went and sat with people, they invited us into their homes and brought chairs for us to sit in. I was overwhelmed by their hospitality. The second day of evangelism Victoria and I were together again. As we walked through the villages we came to this one house and were very welcomed. There was a mother and her three grown daughters. We started talking to the women, two of the daughters accepted Jesus as Victoria talked. Their mother was encouraging them the whole time. The whole time we were sitting there my heart was drawn to the mother. I asked her if she was saved, she said she was not. After asking some questions we found out that she was the owner of the local brewery, you see in Kenya drinking is very looked down on, it is not culturally okay. If you drink, or have anything to do with it, you are not a Christian. She told us that she couldn't be saved because she had to keep her business so that she could provide for her family, if she gave up making the brew they would not have the means to live. I began to speak to her of the love that the Lord had for her, that He wanted her heart, that He was first worried about having her heart and then He would get rid of the things in her life that were not pleasing to Him. Tears filled her eyes, she began to talk about how she really loved Jesus and did He really love her even though she had to sell the local brew. We began to talk to her about the provision of the Lord and how He had provided for us to come to Kenya. By the end of the conversation she accepted Christ and told us to pray for her to get another job because she knew that her God could do it! After we prayed with her she got up and hurried off, only to come back a few minutes later with a rag in her hand, she sat back down and opened it up telling us it was a drug she took and she didn't want to take it anymore, she had us also pray for freedom from the bondage of the drug. Once we were again done praying she had her daughters bring boiled mango's and told us, "You are my sisters now!" she kept feeding them to us we probably had four mango's each! She continued to talk about how we were her sisters, and how her God was going to provide a new job, and how much she loved Jesus.

The transformation we saw in this woman was amazing. To see the light in her eyes as she accepted the Lord. To be able to see the hope that now filled her. This was the day I fell in love with evangelism. When I saw for myself the transformation that the saving power of Christ could bring. This was the moment I decided my calling, no matter what else I might do through my life, is to tell people about the hope and love that Christ brings. I had a realization that evangelism is a lifestyle, a mindset. Evangelism isn't setting days to go and preach on a street corner, evangelism is when I am grocery shopping and I hear that still small voice encouraging me to talk to that woman, choosing to do it.

In Kilifi we also dealt with a lot of spiritual warfare, there was a lot of witchcraft in the area we were living, fear began to enter our group at night when we walked home. The Lord was faithful though, He reminded us of His promises to keep us safe and gave a scripture, Psalm 105: 13-15

When they went from one nation to another,

From one kingdom to another people,

He permitted no one to do them wrong;

Yes, He rebuked kings for their sakes,

Saying, “Do not touch My anointed ones, 

and do my prophets no harm."

Sunday morning rolled around and I was the one preaching. Surprisingly I was not nervous at all, the Lord had really laid something on my heart to talk about. The Lord was tangibly there as I talked, I knew it was Him speaking through me. After the service I was able to pray for several people and again, I realized something I had been afraid of my whole life is something the Lord chose to use me in. First evangelism and now preaching. I realized that I could not let MY fears get into the way of HIS plans, because He can choose to use me in anyway He wants and it doesn't matter if I am good at it, all that matters is that I am functioning in what He is calling me to. 

It doesn't matter if He calls you to Africa, or China, serving in the church nursery, or being a mom, whatever it is He is calling you to that is where you are going to be the most effective for the kingdom at that time.

74 people came to Christ our week in Kilifi. Our God is great.

“No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow.”

Hello Everyone! I know that this update is LONG over due. To be honest I have been procrastinating on writing it because I don't know where to start. But as I have learned many times over, if you don't start some where you will never start. So here it goes. I arrived in Kenya on January third, after about 38 hours of travel, bags getting lost and the last airplane we were suppose to be on not having us in the system. In Nirobi, Kenya  five of us were sitting on the floor of the airport in a mess of bags, with jet-lag taking over. Brittany, one of our leaders and two other students were put on our original flight, then Kevin, our other leader and the remaining five students were stuck in the air port. We were to tired to be stressed out, but apparently we looked quite helpless because this British lady stops and asks if we are okay and if there is anything she can do and then gives us instructions to the bathroom and the snack bar as she rushed off to catch her flight. So there we were with Kevin at the ticket counter trying to work everything out, the five of us sitting on the floor, Bryanna, Alison, Melinda, Jesper, and I. I was sitting there looking at my ankles that had swollen to the size of Manhattan and trying to figure out if I had my flip flops on my carry on because my feet no longer fit in my Toms, and then it hit me, this is only the beginning.


The moment we walked out of the airport I was in awe. I was seeing trees I had only seen in Lion King. Mountains, hills, and people EVERYWHERE. The first two weeks in Kenya we stayed at a children's home in the middle of the bush. In a place called Ray of Hope.  We had to drive through the city, it was so busy, people walking, riding bikes and pushing carts. They had goats everywhere. There were street markets and so many smells, good ones and really bad ones. We started to head out of the city and turned on a road that took us up a mountain. The best way to explain how I felt about this first ride through the bush is off roading. We were in the van, called a matatu, going over hills, hitting bumps, going through ruts two feet deep. There we times I wondered if we were even going to make it, but we did. The scenery took my breath away. Mountains covered in palm trees, mud huts and small children standing with a staff and their heard of goats. I loved this place. As we drove by the huts dancing mothers would stop and stare, her children would point as they started chasing our van and yelling, "Jumbo!" (hello). But sometimes the children would just point and say, "Mzungu!" (white people). We finally pulled up to Ray of Hope. The grounds were amazing, as could be expected in a place so far out in the middle of nowhere there is not electricity, or running water, but they have gotten solar power up and the water they have is collected in big black plastic barrels when it rains. The staff was very welcoming, but as can be expected the kids didn't know quite what to think of us at first. It didn't take long for them to start teaching us how to dance and laughing at our efforts, but what they really loved was braiding our hair. After the first day of surviving without running water, showering with a bucket holding less water then I have ever used in my life, and going to the bathroom in a hole in the ground, I realized that yes this was a major culture shock, but it was so beautiful. Seeing the simplicity that these people live in, things that I had grown up viewing as a mere necessity, air conditioning, a toilet, a shower every night, enough water to drink, water that didn't make me sick, enough food, CHOOSING the food I wanted, being able to be a picky eater... these aren't options in this place. And yet, they are the most generous, caring, loving people. Those who have none, giving to those who have more then they know what to do with.


The first week at Ray of Hope was like an open battle field for my mind and emotions. Part of me was, 'I am so happy to be here! God use me guide me! Whatever it is, tell me and I will walk it out in immediate obedience.' another part of me was, 'I can't leave this place if I wanted to. I want to. I'm stuck here. Three months peeing in a hole in the ground? I don't want to speak if front of people. God don't make me preach. I'm not going to do it. If they tell me to preach I'm faking sick.' and then the other part of me was saying, 'God, I can't do this. I don't have the strength to do this. I'm scared. I feel guilty for wanting to leave. But I want to stay. I want to do this with everything I am." This last feeling is the one that God worked with.
Psalm 139:10 ~ Your hand shall lead me, Your right hand shall hold me. This was the scripture He gave me for this time. He took me through a process of realizing I couldn't do what was being asked of me, unless I had Him. "The lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship in oneness with Him." I knew I was not going to be able to give out to the people we were ministering to, UNLESS I was giving myself to Him, completely, during my quiet times.


Our first week in Kenya was spent with the kids and doing maintenance work on the grounds. We painted houses and did yard work. Several mornings at around 9am we would walk to the school that the orphanage runs and work with the kids. It's for preschool, KG1 and KG2 so three years old through six years old. We have been teaching them English. The kids break my heart, they are so precious, most of them walk several miles every morning just to come. They are in old torn clothes and so tiny. They always wanted us to hold them. They fight just to hold our hands. I have really fallen in love with them.. We also had a kids camp. Kids from all over the bush came, we had a teaching, games, songs, fed them a meal, and just spent time with the kids. We also did school ministry for the older kids. We went to a muslin school to talk to the kids there, it was a 2 hour hike, we live at the bottom of the mountain and it was at the top. It was rough, but I did it! At one point I got kind of sick, just from the heat and climbing. Some of the time we were legit rock climbing and sometimes all I wanted to do was sit on my butt and slide down because it was so hard to keep my footing in the dirt because the roads that we walked on some of the time were straight down or straight up. Other times we were walking through grass with no path and the grass was over our heads. I felt like a real mountain woman! haha. Sadly, when we were walking back to base, in the corn field, in sight of the house, I fell and twisted my ankle. I lost it and started sobbing, not really because it hurt, but because I was so exhausted and still felt sick. There was some comic relief as Emmanuel, our translator checked my ankle the tried to put my shoe back on, now Toms and tight anyways when they are new, but my foot had swollen up  a lot and he was struggling. It made us all laugh. Kevin, our leader, and Victoria helped me and got me back to the house. Sunday was our first time leading a service and it went so well. Brittany, Bryanna and I lead the Sunday school and  Christopher lead the main service. We left at 7am and it was about a forty minute drive to the church. The fact that I was in Africa hit me when I got out of the car and saw all the little black faces staring back at me, reaching out to shake my hand, then running away as soon as they did. We were taken inside this small building filled with chairs and the front was decorated with what looked like wall paper on the floor. Then the service started, the drums began to beat and they started to dance, and then her voice rang out, clear and high, then the other children started to join in. It brought tears to my eyes to see the way that these children worshiped their Jesus. And I knew they had an understanding of our God that the Western world just can't seem to grasp. These people have so little, yet they give everything they have, even if all they have is time. The bible stories aren't dumbed down for the kids, they are spoken with just as much conviction as to the adults.

Ray of Hope is the Orphanage we were staying at the first two weeks. Not until the last few weeks of outreach was I able to process what I saw while I was there. I was thinking about how different the African dream is compared to the American dream. In Africa for Fathers it is just dreaming they can make enough money to feed their families and take care of their children. For Mothers it is that their child would live past the age of one. For children it is that they don't loose a parent, whether by death or something worse, like trafficking. Parents pray they don't have to many children so that they don't have to choose which to keep and which to send to the orphanages. Women don't even talk about being pregnant because it is likely they will loose the baby. I can't imagine living like that. But then I look at these kids I have fallen in love with at Ray of Hope and I realize how many children loose touch with those dreams before they even have a chance to begin sometimes. Ruthie and Abebah ages 8 and 5 have been at Ray of Hope for a little over 3 years and it is because their mother died and their father wants nothing to do with them. Morris a 5 year old boy who's Father died of cancer and his mother one day went to market and never came back. She just disappeared. They don't know where she went. Chadodo, 8 years old, her parents can't afford her. Then there is this other girl. 14 years old who went home for Christmas and her dad who is a Muslim won't let her go back to Ray of Hope because she loves Jesus and now he is sending her to marry a man twice her age. Their problems are so much bigger then ours. It's hard to wrap my head around. But at the same time I see so much hope in their eyes. Hope that Jesus has given to them, because of the staff at Ray of Hope that have chosen to give up their rights and their comforts to see that these kids live a good life.

I could never fully explain the way that these children and the staff at Ray of Hope impacted me, but I know that it has given me a new perspective of laying down my life, of being willing to be Jesus to someone. It's not going to always look attractive. It's not always going to be traveling to beautiful, exotic, comfortable places. Sometimes it might be to a place that smells like burning trash, that is hotter then you ever thought possible, where you sweat more then a gallon a day and wake up dehydrated. But the thing is it doesn't matter where He asks you to go to lay down your life, because as long as you are walking in obedience He will give you the grace to keep running the race till the finish line. And bring so many blessings along the way that you can't even question whether He sent you or not.

So this was my first two weeks of outreach, in Shimba Hills at Ray of Hope. My next update will be about Kalifi. 

Off to Kenya

I leave for Kenya today. I still can not believe it. It all really seems surreal. The Lord provided a little over $4,000 in less then twenty-four hours. When I got back from my Christmas break at 2pm on December 29th I owed $4,300, roughly. By 10am on December 30th every penny had come in! I still don't know how exactly. A lot from people I don't even know! 

OUR GOD IS GREAT!!!

For real though everyone. Thank you so much for all of your help financially and your prayers. Continued prayers would be appreciated! 

2pm is when this new adventure really starts. Since yesterday at 2pm I have been reminding everyone "less then 24 hours!!" I think they get it. ;) Really though I keep saying it because I am trying to convince myself this is really happening! Haha :)

I leave the Monroe base at 2pm for the airport, then we have a little over an hour flight then a 5 hour layover, still in the states of course. Then out we go! All nine of us. Two staff and seven students. I can't wait. 

Guys, the Lord has been so incredibly good to me through this whole thing. He has placed me in an amazing team with exceptional friends. He provided every cent I needed for going to Kenya. The Lord never calls us out without intending to provide. I am so thankful for what He has been doing in me and the people around me. I wish I could say I was never going to struggle with God's provision, the truth is I most likely will, BUT now I have something to look at and say, He provided then, maybe no the way I would have or in the time I though necessary, but He did it just in time. He didn't let me down.

And He said unto them. "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.
Mark 16:15

This is what we are going to do in Kenya. Your prayers will be so appreciated! I wished that I could share stories while I was gone, but Internet is not really accessible. So as soon as I get back I will have lots of stories for you all to hear! 

I will talk to you all in two months! :))